Musings

So:

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Happiness is not a feeling that can be purchased- this I know. But I would like someone to provide some terminology for the sensation I experience whenever I look at my brand-new, obscenely beautiful Louboutin’s- fake fake fake and all mine. I bought powder-grey heels to be sensible, but I’m still positively yearning for a snakeskin pair I tried on. Merry Christmas, perhaps?

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God says I love you in little ways too by giving joy a taste. Give me greasy greasy rou bao and clementines overflowing from fruit stands, or a Styrofoam bowl bursting with noodles, strawberry Hi-Chews, or red bean buns for out-of-egg breakfasts. Simple pleasures.

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Birthday morning: As your consciousness creeps back from sleep, it slowly succumbs to the lovely fact that today is reserved for you alone. This is one of the most delicious sensations in the entire world.

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White wine- my favorite thus far. Waiting to have my first drink until my 21st was worth it. Stay strong, ladies and gentleman not yet there.

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There’s something to be said for conversations that  skip the small talk, that provide opportunities to ask the questions that we truly want answers to. I am so thankful that I got to have one of these chats today. Thank you Bettina Lemm.

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A friend asked me why I found my religion meaningful yesterday as we rode home in a cab. It was a timely question, one that I needed to be asked. It served to remind me why I love Jesus, and it truly fed my soul.

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I could spend the rest of my days in the Peace Hotel on the Bund and be content. One incredible night’s stay was not enough. I guess I’m just a sucker for glamour.

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Sometimes I could just hug H&M. My birthday dress (black cocktail- surprise surprise) was a literal Godsend. And $40 too…

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As an eight year old, I was bewitched by Mary Pope Osborne’s “Magic Treehouse” series, especially the one featuring the Terra Cotta Warriors. How interesting I found these pieces of ancient art, how exotic and mysterious, a wonder I had so wanted to see. Two weeks ago, I stood face to face with these very Warriors, and their ancient, earthy beauty made me feel like that little girl in Mrs. Lemelin’s 2nd grade class once again.

***

My bike was stolen and the sadness was acute. Luckily, I’ve learned to love the walk to and from class. It’s made me appreciate the surroundings while at the same time allowed me to go to lunch with other classmates,  getting to know them better. It also made the nine-mile ride around Xi’an’s old ramparts that much more of a delight.

***

I recently found myself in a shooting range in a dodgy part of Shanghai. It was for a birthday celebration, and somehow I was the only girl that ended up partaking in that portion of the festivities. Usually, finding myself in the midst of so many guys would make me nervous, but it was impossible not to have an incredibly good time with this lot. Furthermore, the ego burst I received when I got my target back was worth the hefty price I paid to shoot a rifle; I’m definitely putting that one up on the fridge. I think humming the “Last of the Mohicans” score as I shot definitely helped. (Click me. I promise, it’s glorious.)

***

Thanksgiving in China? It’s called, “Courtney goes to Taiwan Best and orders fried chicken, watches a movie, and goes to bed.” In other words, a successful day.

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It hit me tonight that I could live in Shanghai and be happy. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m leaving for Beijing soon and melodramatic, reflective me is reacting to the sense of impending change, or if I really mean it. Time will tell.

***

Such is life. It’s good. Time flies. It doesn’t change the fact that if you’re reading this, I miss you.

Hugs and kisses, dear ones.

All my love,
C.

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