Quietness has returned to my Davidson. It was momentarily disturbed, you see, when hordes of anxious parents (and similarly nervous and eager-to-please freshmen-to-be) descended on the eerie, pre-class still of a sleepy campus.
And it is so very still. I don’t mind. It’s like a balm, this sweet silence. There is no static walkie chatter; there isn’t an end-of-period bell; I’ve woken up sans alarm for two days now; camp is over, and even though the humidity here is thick like milk, I can feel fall tentatively unfurling into the air. The quietness of post-camp life is a gift.
Friends, I appreciated the chatter, the constant motion that was my summer, but oh to just sit is so delicious. And as I regain a lot of my energy, the fear born from being abroad for so long, thesis confusion, and ultimately being unsure of where, exactly, I fit, is slowly being blown away like wispy storm clouds. I would be lying if I could say there is no nerves attached to graduation and beyond, but they are not nearly as menacing as they once were. God is reminding me, hour by hour, moment by moment, why I loved Davidson in the first place. I can feel Him smiling. “Everything the light touches is yours.” I just want to laugh.
May I gush over the goodness that God is pointing out to me? I need to. Where to start?
Do you know campus always smells good? And it’s lush, a deep green, and I swear I feel like some heroine in the novels I read as a kid when I walk around all these old, cob-webby brick buildings. My cheap TV gets the channel that plays country videos all day, and as a result, I have 27,000 phenomenal songs stuck in my head; I can’t stop singing. My Tiffany’s blue bike is a new friend, and my feelings toward it are so strong I find myself making excuses to ride it around campus (or to my beloved Harris Teeter). Movie tickets at the theatre not even five minutes away from my turreted dorm are next to nothing; I went alone today to a show (one of my favorite things to do ever), and gosh do I want to see this when it comes out. What else? I am forever marveling (with pleasure) at the way in which people here are kinder- they smile at you with their eyes. I went on a long run this morning; I finally feel confident when I meet new people; my favorite Union wraps still taste the same, and drinking Summit’s sweet green tea is instant delight. In summation: there is still happiness (!) in a place that, two years ago, I felt like if I didn’t escape soon I’d go crazy. And after I did do just that, a year later, my friends haven’t forgotten me. What a relief!
And oh goodness, 2013 is everywhere, and I guess that means I’m a senior and allowed to at least act like I have it all together.
And I don’t! I don’t. But I’m trying to get better at prayer, so I’m asking God all the time to hold me in one piece with His big hands. I know without a doubt that this year, if anything’s going to get done, it’s because He did the doing.
Friends, this was an awful update. I can’t remember the last time I told you truly what was going on in my life. From saying goodbye to my beloved 中国 to car crashes to directing half of Deer Run, it’s been quite the summer. Indeed.
I promise a lengthier, more meaningful blow-by-blow when I have the time and the inclination.