Smaller, smaller

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I have been a very bad blog mom.

It’s nearly been a YEAR.

If only I had received the advice I’m repeating here a year ago, you’d have had regular updates and I would seem less like a deadbeat.

“Smaller, smaller.”

Who said it? Can’t remember, can’t claim it as mine- if it comes to me, I’ll credit accordingly. For now, all I know is that it was whispered across my poor, frazzled heart this week, when life loomed a little too tall.

“Smaller, smaller.”

It was a call to rethink the challenges that were taxing me. It was a reminder that oftentimes the best move is the simplest, tiniest one in the face of life’s hydras. One positive step, one little change. Rome truly wasn’t built in a day, and that to get anywhere, you have to lay one brick. Then another. And suddenly, you have something.

“Smaller, smaller.”

It’s an invitation to make enough space in one day; to revel and rejoice. Oh friends, the worry I would have avoided this past year if I had embraced the little changes, the one-day-at-a-times. If I had lathered grace on my mistakes and developed a greater affectation for small progresses. Life is much too lovely to feel like you’re halfway off the edge all the time.

“Smaller, smaller.”

I say this now to myself when frightening election chatter threatens to drown me, or when I realize that my five year plan is as convoluted asĀ  a Chutes-and-Ladders board. It empowers me to whisper a short prayer, to put five dollars in my piggy bank, or to go for a short run. I lay a brick, and the fear ebbs. I know I’m doing something, even when I feel powerless.

And it’s then I realize that I’m not.

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